knowledge, understanding, and belonging: some journal questions

[I recently started keeping a journal to track my daily thoughts, which I hope will help me (re?)build a sense of self and also recover from trauma. I will be posting some (not all) entries here for sharing]


Two things I’ve discussed with my therapist are: the sense of being lost in the world without purpose or a true sense of belonging; and the trauma of seeing that one is not very well known or understood by those we are meant to be closest to…meaning, our families.

Is this a kind of chicken-and-egg dynamic? What are the causes?

Certainly, I can point to how civilisation and its traumas produces such variation in experience and coping mechanisms that we become estranged from each other, even when in physical proximity…

But are there are other inputs?


[if you have ideas and would like to share them, please leave a comment]

3 thoughts on “knowledge, understanding, and belonging: some journal questions”

  1. Hello Amory,

    I’ve just been going through your blog, starting with the first piece regarding holism, and started listening to your new podcast with Bellamy (I now halfway through What Can Be Done).

    While this is not entirely specific to your invitation for comments on this post, I wonder if you have ever considered or meditating on what could be generalised as “acosmicism” – as in, that the world (as small or large as you want to take it) has a quality to it that is basically unstable, in a primordial ontological sense – and how that might impact on your feelings or thoughts on being-lost?

    I am aware at this point of contact that I am initiating communication with an awareness that we do have some degree of difference in perspective, which I am not intending as a challenge and I wouldn’t want you to feel challenged – as I’ve started from a place that is different to the holism you hold value in. I guess I want to say that, at this point of initiating communication, I’m approaching perhaps with a desire to seduce – take that as you will.

    Love and rage!

    Julian Langer

    1. Hi Julian, thanks for your comments.

      In terms of metaphysics, my intuition, faith and some empirical clues point to something like Christian panentheism/process theology.

      I can consider the idea of acosmicism but it seems like the obvious question would be ‘why?’ – why WOULD there be an infinite, meticulously-ordered (in terms of its entropic varitions) universe that did not have telos of any kind?

      I do posit that much of the chaos we experience is because God is running experiments – the nature of which we cannot completely fathom.

      But I cannot imagine a world without any purpose whatsoever, no.

      Thanks for this very interesting question. We will probably get onto topics like these in future podcasts.

      Blessings 🙂

      1. My personal suspicion/instinct/belief is that the Real/world/Being is less reasonable than would be perhaps necessary to provide a “why”, though you have probably considered this.

        I too find resonance with process metaphysics, but would describe myself “religiously” as a fundamentalist agnostic, so I don’t really know if God knows what they are doing. My instinct is that, if Shiva had any reason for doing anything, then they would destroy it immediately, then create something else by doing something else, then destroy that.

        I’m looking forward to listening to other episodes.

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